Tag: dream

I had a dream. It has been awhile and so I am very thankful though it seemed rather simple and unfinished. Don’t you hate when you dream a dream with no clear resolution?!? Or was there???

I was in an auditorium. Not a comfortable, clean, modern auditorium but one like I went to in elementary school. Tri-Community Elementary. It was old in elementary school since it was also the school my mom went to as a girl. Much, much older now. I walked in and had the thought that there was a strange charm about the place. Maybe it was the age or the history. It was exactly as I remembered it as a child with the wood folding seats. Some of the seats missing and broken. The carpet was the same. The curtains the same. I was there for a conference and I was happy because it seemed most seats were full and everyone seemed so happy and welcoming. Though the interior was dark and felt kind of damp and there was a musty smell there was excitement in the air.

There was a time of praise and worship and it was simple and upbeat. I thought it was kind of short for a conference…usually they worship longer but okay. Then the first speaker got up and started speaking. He was talking and the people were attentive and “energy” (for lack of a word to describe) was building. As the speaker got into his message however I noticed something. I was having a hard time breathing because of something in the atmosphere. Mildew maybe? Oh well…I tried to focus on what was being said. I was listening and then I noticed….it was very subtle and almost indistinguishable to my ear. It was a switching around of words. Hmmmm….maybe I didn’t hear what I thought I heard. Then I heard something similar it was an absence of some things. Key things. It went on and what I heard I also saw with my own eyes. Clearly I saw a clear glass of mixture. Mixture! Except the two wouldn’t mix up if that makes since. Separation persisted though the speaker was stirring it with his words (and a spoon) as hard as he could trying to get it to mix up as though it were chocolate milk or something. I know it sounds strange but I heard the mixture and saw it clearly in a clear glass in front of me.

Well…then there was this bright light from heaven and it shone down and was so intense I couldn’t ignore it or dismiss it and I didn’t know how anyone was not seeing this light but they weren’t seeing it and the speaker kept on talking and people were clapping. But there was this light and I knew it was the Holy Ghost that said the next three words. He said so loudly I was sure everyone else heard it too, “FLEE DECEPTION DAUGHTER!!!!” And so I ran

Out the front door. I could breathe easier and I sat down on the old, cold concrete steps to wait on others to come out…and I waited and waited and waited.

Always toward the end of a year I evaluate. What have I learned this year? How have I changed, if at all?

This year I have come to a realization that as hard as I’ve tried to hold on I have lost several relationships and a couple of dreams that were very precious to me. Friends that were once close and likeminded are now acquaintances at best. Oh, I loved them so dearly and felt so invested in their lives. It is sad to know I have to just let go. This year I’ve also had to release a dream and a part of my business that I thought I never would have to see go until I decided it was time to. In this life we all need the graceful gift of good-bye.

Letting go is hard for me and for most of us, whether it’s letting go of a loved one, a dream, an expected outcome, business, etc. Life in this world seems to take people or things from us that we want to keep. I have asked God to help me to learn how to let go of them in my heart, so I won’t continue to feel such a hurt from the loss.

How do you let go of things or people you don’t actually want to give up? For me, I’ve struggled a lot with this. Although, I am introvert by nature, I highly value and am committed to the people in my life, even the ones who are on the fringe are important to me. I didn’t know it, but in my heart I was afraid of losing people and parts of my life. I needed to learn how to face the fear of loss and let go of people or anything else that I was holding onto out of fear.

What God has helped me this year to learn is to pray about it all. Pray about the relationships I lost. Pray about the things I lost. I would say to the Father out loud over each of those, “I let go of …” even before I actually did. I also waited on Him to reveal anything or anyone I was not conscious of that I was holding onto out of fear. As He revealed these people or things, I tried to respond. Sometimes in many tears but also in the most honest and sincere way I knew. Then I would say again to Him, “I let go of …”

As I did this I began to notice a difference in my peace of mind. The fear and feelings of being upset started dissipating. My vision concerning my own life and life around me broadened. The tunnel vision I was plagued with was gone.  I discovered what I thought was hurting and diminishing me was not that at all. That was a delusion. Do I absolutely need this person or thing to validate me, make me secure, happy, etc.? If the answer was yes then I believed a lie and that lie was causing me to fear. Sure, people or things can make us happy and give us a certain level of validation, security or whatever your need may be, but they can’t be the source of it. The Lord Himself is the source. Everything and everyone is a precious resource granted to us. Everything, even relationships, on this earth are the things seen as in 2 Corinthians 4:18: While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

I began to see the privilege God has granted me. I was graced to journey with some awesome people and do some awesome things for a season, but now that part of my life is over and my journey continues. God has given me(us) a future and hope. We are being transformed and the world around us is changing. Just because something or someone was right for me in the past doesn’t mean that is still so.

I also discovered thankfulness plays a role in letting go. One night in the midst of one of my pity parties the Lord showed me what was a sign that said, “Thank You.” I closed my eyes and saw it again. I believe part of letting go is to be thankful for the people and things that made us happy and helped us to learn, grow and become more of our true self.  It’s the acceptance of everything and everyone we have been given, everything and everyone we once had in our lives, but also being thankful for the possibilities and hope and people that lie ahead.

The missionary and martyr, Jim Elliot, summed it up like this, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”

Corrie Ten Boom’s wisdom is also helpful. “I have held many things in my hand and I have lost them all, but whatever I have placed in God’s hand, that, I still possess.”

This year as I head into 2015 I head in with one of my greatest loss challenges right before me. It will be a time of prayer and fasting for me because surely if God has allowed such He has something much greater in store. I pray I learn to count all loss as dung as in Philippians 3:8: Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,

The book Live Before You Die by Evangelist Daniel Kolenda was not only one of the best books I have read on the subject of seeking God’s will for our lives but it was one of the top five books I have ever read. Here is a Bible study I received today based on his teaching from his book. It touched my heart as it addresses so well a present struggle. 

Dream – We were going to visit someone in a very large apt complex for a Christmas party. It wasn’t present day, it was future because I was older in the dream. (Not sure how I know I was older, just was). It was obvious that it was a complex but each unit had different driveways of varying lengths. We had to park in a very dark communal parking lot and then walk up the drive way to get to the apt complex we were visiting. There was no lighting along the driveway and so it was very dark as well. As we approached the apt we were visiting I could see the occupant because of a very dim light that she had on. This woman had blonde hair to her shoulders – not anyone that I know but I have a very clear picture of her.

I woke up during this dream and immediately thought of the complexes of Romania. Not sure that the dream image was like the image of those in Romania but my mind just went immediately there. The complexes there used to be communist housing but now are still housing but each owned individually. Very, very small living quarters. We stayed in one when we were there on a mission trip.

Seeking the Lord on what it means because I asked Him if it was important to keep it in my mind. Thoughts welcomed!

He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the tree of life, which is in the midst of the paradise of God. Revelation 2:7

Earlier this week, I stated that I really wanted to eat from the tree of life. Yesterday I had a dream regarding that.

In the dream I was still at the beach house but it was so familiar as though I lived there as my residence. I was out and about trying to get to the Tree of Life but kept running into obstacles.

I came across a young girl (withholding name) that was taking many pictures of each of us there and many pictures of everything that we were doing. She wanted me to stand there and look at each and every picture that she had on her camera. We started through each one and it was tedious but we just stood there looking as she scrolled through them.

We had almost seen them all when overhead we saw a futuristic airplane that seemed to be propelled by a circular wheel type gadget on the very back of it. It looked like a missile but in my dream i knew it was for passengers. It flew very close over our heads. It was followed by a round oil tanker that was as an airplane. As the oil tanker flew over very bright and very hot blasts of flames came out of the top and bottom toward things on the earth. As different things moved it burned them completely and instantly up. We also had to dodge these flames.

My son had a lot of electronic things but electricity surged through them and they would not work. Someone came to tow our car and they loaded all of our things that we owned onto a trailer that was also attached to the tow truck. They were moving all of our things but we weren’t going with our things. I could see all of the electronic gadgets surrounding the perimeter of our other possesions. Even though none of the electronic gadgets worked because of the surge, I felt I had to go and retrieve all of those electronics. Nothing else. It was like a compulsion and I couldn’t not save those particular things.

We were very hungry so we went to Cracker Barrel to eat but got so consumed with the things in the store part of the restaurant that we neglected to eat. We were on a strict schedule and it was time for us to leave- we never did eat, even though we were hungry. We didn’t buy anything either. Just spent our time looking at the merchandise. We went to leave Cracker Barrel and to get out we had to go through a huge maze of tunnels and stairs to get out. When we finally got out I stood there…

Then I sort of half way woke up but I was still dreaming and my thought was…I never even got to see the Tree of Life and I didn’t get to eat of it. I was incredibly sad with a groaning sadness. Very deep! Sadness from the depths.

I had a heaviness on me and I felt urgency.

Still dreaming I felt awake but wanted to go back to sleep but I couldn’t because I felt the Lord wanted me to get up and write this all down and He wasn’t going to allow me go back to sleep until I did. His Word regarding this dream was “mandated” and when I heard that I knew in my spirit it was important and I must follow through.

I got myself awake enough to get into my office and I wrote it all down as it was in my dream quickly and in fractioned sentences all over a page.

Then I went and laid down on the couch and went back to sleep.

(Mandate: the formal notice of decision)

I am a dreamer

I dream of a new world emerging on our planet

A world where love rules instead of fear
A world where generosity replaces greed
A world where good replaces evil
A world where community replaces isolation
A world where redeemed humanity reflects God’s nature
A world where sickness and disease are overcome
A world where people know God, not just know about Him
A world where people hear God, not just hear about Him

I dream

Last night I had this very sobering one-

I was in the hospital because I had just had a baby. It was a boy. I was so happy but I was very unprepared and when it was time to go home I didn’t have a car seat or any baby supplies. Nothing. I didn’t even have anyone to drive me home. So I laid the baby on the seat and drove home myself even though I knew that it was illegal to do so. When I got home I ran inside to grab a few things so that I could go to the store and so I left the baby in the car. When I returned he was gone. I was frantic and went around the neighborhood asking if anyone had seen my baby. I looked all over the house but no baby. I became very distraught and then suddenly the doorbell rang. It was a gentleman holding my baby. No explanation of where he had been but he was unharmed. I grabbed him and began thanking God that He had returned the baby in seemingly perfect condition and that everything was okay despite what I had done. I was so relieved. Then the doorbell rang again. It was the police and I was arrested and taken to jail- charged with neglect.

Yikes! When I woke up I felt that God was speaking to me about what will be a new season and to make sure I am prepared and stay prepared for the responsibilities of what He is birthing. I don’t know if my understanding of it is even correct- that was just my initial feelings.