Tag: fear

We all remember so many details and images of 9/11/01.

As I drove up the Colonial Parkway toward home that day, I wondered how it would forevermore feel to be one with a birthday on 9/11. How would those born on this day celebrate life in the midst of such death? God knows every thought or maybe He planted that thought in my mind, knowing I would revisit it many times in the coming years.

On 9/11/2006 at around 10:15am, the 5th anniversary of this Patriot Day, with the roll call of those that died playing in the distance, the supernatural power of God met the natural in my life. I found myself that morning alone. We had since moved from Virginia to NC and I was battling severe depression. This was not new, it had been going on for years but on this day I was tired of fighting each and every day to stay alive. Satan had me in a stronghold and I was almost convinced of my unworth. Almost, because for reasons that even I do not know, I said a desperate and heart felt prayer to Jesus, “HELP!”

And then….as in the days of the Apostle Paul, I encountered the Living God.

His magnificent and radiant Glory filled my office. His presence filled every crevice of that room including every part of me…I felt both incredible peace and holy fear. I fell onto the floor and for what seemed hours, I lay prostrate there under the weight of His Glory. I was as one of the dead in my physcial body though more alive than ever before within. On that day, the Almighty God allowed me to see just a glimpse of Himself, He held me in His arms and allowed me to see the “Missy” that He created me to be and showed me how satan had worked to destroy me even as he had destroyed my own dad. My Father spoke to me words that will forever be engraved in my heart, Words no one can ever take away or dismiss. Heavenly words! I spoke to Him words that I will forever live by. On that day, He healed me, delivered me and changed this life for all eternity. On that day, I repented of my sins, forgave all who I had been so unwilling to forgive and then He forgave me and I accepted His salvation through His Son, Jesus Christ.  On that day, I made Him Lord and King. After years of hiding the truth about myself and pretending to be saved because I had walked the aisle one time as a child, I was truly born again. Washed as white as snow. That was the greatest of miracles in my life.

My Father then baptized me with His Holy Spirit and I began to speak a language I didn’t know! A heavenly language that until that very moment I had never believed in. He promised to restore my life and that of my family. His promises are always true! It was a suddenly, parting of the red sea experience. I was changed in every way…physically, emotionally and spiritually. I came away with a burning love for Him and His Word and the desire to please Him in all I do.

So today is my real, true birthday. There will probably be no cake, no presents…I know no way to celebrate than this – to remain filled with a heart of gratitude and devotion and indescribable love for my Savior and those He created. To do His will as best as I can. To never forget…remind myself daily of Jesus’ sacrifice and His love for me that brought me out of the place of impending death and into this eternal life. Think about it…at a time when the pain and grief of an entire country was so much in the world’s focus…My Shepherd “left the ninety-nine” to come and rescue this sinner. The beautiful Lamb of God carried this lamb home…what a special gift to me! Thank you so much Jesus!!!!

And herein lies another truth….If He did all of this for me, He can and will do it for you too. He will reveal Himself to you. He will meet you or come after you. He will draw you to Himself or draw you closer. If you feel you are in a place that you can do nothing else, just say the only prayer I did….”HELP!”

I pray for the peace and love I feel to comfort you all and most especially those that are still in so much grief on this 9/11. I pray today that you know my Jesus!

________________________

The following is on my wall of this office right in front of where I sit. I will never forget 9/11:

Lord, I give myself to You;

I give my life to You.

I want to be your servant.   

I feel Your call;

I believe I was sent and saved

To do the will of my Father.

I will take orders from You.

I will submit to You.

I will let You break my will.

I will not seek for comfort

or high positions,

Nor to do what I want to do.

Mine is the humblest task,

Or the most dangerous task;

By the grace of God, I will do it.

I will go where You want me to go;

I will do what You give me to do.

If in this walk I seem to have nothing,

I will not complain.

At times when I find myself in a kind of prison, 

I will rejoice and I will praise You

Because You have been to prison for me.

I love You, Jesus;

I thank You for calling me,

And that You want me,

And that You can use me;

I thank You that You are there to guide every step

As I do my part to ready

Your Bride for Your return. 

And I say today with my whole heart, 

“Send the Fire

And burn up the sacrifice.

Fill me again and again with Thy Holy Spirit

And give me a double portion of Thine anointing.”