Posted in Hiding His Word

Thy Word Have I Hid in My Heart – Be Holy, Be Whole

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Daily Scripture

For I am the Lord that bringeth you up out of the land of Egypt, to be your God: ye shall therefore be holy, for I am holy.” ~ Leviticus‬ ‭11:45‬

And a certain woman, which had an issue of blood twelve years, And had suffered many things of many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was nothing bettered, but rather grew worse, When she had heard of Jesus, came in the press behind, and touched his garment. For she said, If I may touch but his clothes, I shall be whole. And straightway the fountain of her blood was dried up; and she felt in her body that she was healed of that plague. And Jesus, immediately knowing in himself that virtue had gone out of him, turned him about in the press, and said, Who touched my clothes? And his disciples said unto him, Thou seest the multitude thronging thee, and sayest thou, Who touched me? And he looked round about to see her that had done this thing. But the woman fearing and trembling, knowing what was done in her, came and fell down before him, and told him all the truth. And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole of thy plague.” ~ Mark‬ ‭5:25-34‬

Study

Holy – specially recognized as or declared sacred; dedicated or devoted to the service of God; having a spiritually pure quality

Whole – containing all the elements properly belonging; undivided; in one piece; not broken, damaged, or impaired; intact; nothing broken and nothing missing.

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In the One Year Bible today we were in Leviticus 11 and Mark 5. Here are some things about these passages that spoke to me as I read, studied, and meditated on the Word. I love it anytime when I can see correlations and passages tied together.

Holiness is the key theme of Leviticus. The word “holy” appears more often in Leviticus than in any other book of the Bible. Israel was to be holy or totally consecrated to God. Holiness was to be expressed in every aspect of life, making what was to be lives of purity. Because of who God is and what he has done, his people were to dedicate themselves fully to him. Isn’t that the same He requires of us?

Peter quoted Leviticus in 1 Peter 1:13-16 – “Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance: But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.”

In the passage from Mark, we have a woman who had a blood issue for 12 years. She had been to doctors and used all she had seeking a solution. No one had been able to help and her issue was destroying her. By the very laws that were given in Leviticus she would have been considered unclean. She would have been restricted from both religious or social life. Could her identity as “unclean” be why she touched but the hem of His garment? I have read that the hem of a Rabbi’s garment was also called wings. It reminds me of Malachi 4:2a ~ But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings. The woman with the issue of blood had heard of Jesus and reports of others being healed and she went to Him. Once there she touched the hem of Jesus garment and she was not disappointed. She was healed, made whole, and clean.

Meditation

In Leviticus, we learn that uncleanness spreads like germs. When someone or something touches anything unclean, it becomes unclean.

In Mark, we learn that cleanness and holiness also spreads. Jesus is clean, and whatever He touches or whoever touches Him becomes clean…or as our passage says, “whole!”

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I like the following song, “Holy is the Lord.”  It holds a special place in my heart because our mission team sang this song during the church conferences we held in Romania.

Prayer

Oh Father, thank you so much for Your Word that is a lamp and a light to me. Help me to listen and obey to keep my life and heart set apart and holy. Help me to stay close enough to hold to the hem of Your garment, Lord that I may live healed and whole. Nothing missing, nothing broken. Help me to be holy as You are holy. May I never settle for less. And when I fall short help me heed correction and warnings and to look to You and Your Word always for my direction. Thank You that through Jesus and His shed blood I can stand before You now, Father. Help me to always, always remember the price paid for me to be made clean. In Jesus Name. Amen.

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My 9/11 Testimony

We all remember so many details and images of 9/11/01.

As I drove up the Colonial Parkway toward home that day, I wondered how it would forevermore feel to be one with a birthday on 9/11. How would those born on this day celebrate life in the midst of such death? God knows every thought or maybe He planted that thought in my mind, knowing I would revisit it many times in the coming years.

On 9/11/2006 at around 10:15am, the 5th anniversay of this Patriot Day, with the roll call of those that died playing in the distance, the supernatural power of God met the natural in my life. I found myself that morning alone. We had since moved from Virginia to NC and I was battling severe depression. This was not new, it had been going on for years but on this day I was tired of fighting each and every day to stay alive. Satan had me in a stronghold and I was almost convinced of my unworth. Almost, because for reasons that even I do not know, I said a desperate and heart felt prayer to Jesus, “HELP!”

And then….as in the days of the Apostle Paul, I encountered the Living God.

His magnificent and radiant Glory filled my office. His presence filled every crevice of that room including every part of me…I felt both incredible peace and holy fear. I fell onto the floor and for what seemed hours, I lay prostrate there under the weight of His Glory. I was as one of the dead in my physcial body though more alive than ever before within. On that day, the Almighty God allowed me to see just a glimpse of Himself, He held me in His arms and allowed me to see the “Missy” that He created me to be and showed me how satan had worked to destroy me even as he had destroyed my own dad. My Father spoke to me words that will forever be engraved in my heart, Words no one can ever take away or dismiss. Heavenly words! I spoke to Him words that I will forever live by. On that day, He healed me, delivered me and changed this life for all eternity. On that day, I repented of my sins, forgave all who I had been so unwilling to forgive and then He forgave me and I accepted His salvation through His Son, Jesus Christ.  On that day, I made Him Lord and King. After years of hiding the truth about myself and pretending to be saved because I had walked the aisle one time as a child, I was truly born again. Washed as white as snow. That was the greatest of miracles in my life.

My Father then baptized me with His Holy Spirit and I began to speak a language I didn’t know! A heavenly language that until that very moment I had never believed in. He promised to restore my life and that of my family. His promises are always true! It was a suddenly, parting of the red sea experience. I was changed in every way…physically, emotionally and spiritually. I came away with a burning love for Him and His Word and the desire to please Him in all I do.

So today is my real, true birthday. There will probably be no cake, no presents…I know no way to celebrate than this – to remain filled with a heart of gratitude and devotion and indescribable love for my Savior and those He created. To do His will as best as I can. To never forget…remind myself daily of Jesus’ sacrifice and His love for me that brought me out of the place of impending death and into this eternal life. Think about it…at a time when the pain and grief of an entire country was so much in the world’s focus…My Shepherd “left the ninety-nine” to come and rescue this sinner. The beautiful Lamb of God carried this lamb home…what a special gift to me! Thank you so much Jesus!!!!

And herein lies another truth….If He did all of this for me, He can and will do it for you too. He will reveal Himself to you. He will meet you or come after you. He will draw you to Himself or draw you closer. If you feel you are in a place that you can do nothing else, just say the only prayer I did….”HELP!”

I pray for the peace and love I feel to comfort you all and most especially those that are still in so much grief on this 9/11. I pray today that you know my Jesus!

________________________

 

The following is on my wall of this office right in front of where I sit. I will never forget 9/11:

Lord, I give myself to You;

I give my life to You.

I want to be your servant.   

I feel Your call;

I believe I was sent and saved

To do the will of my Father.

I will take orders from You.

I will submit to You.

I will let You break my will.

I will not seek for comfort

or high positions,

Nor to do what I want to do.

Mine is the humblest task,

Or the most dangerous task;

By the grace of God, I will do it.

I will go where You want me to go;

I will do what You give me to do.

If in this walk I seem to have nothing,

I will not complain.

At times when I find myself in a kind of prison, 

I will rejoice and I will praise You

Because You have been to prison for me.

I love You, Jesus;

I thank You for calling me,

And that You want me,

And that You can use me;

I thank You that You are there to guide every step

As I do my part to ready

Your Bride for Your return. 

And I say today with my whole heart, 

“Send the Fire

And burn up the sacrifice.

Fill me again and again with Thy Holy Spirit

And give me a double portion of Thine anointing.”

 

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Encouragement for Today

As I entered into the 38th day of my personal fast and the first day of our corporate fast I did so with a prayer that God reveal Himself to me in greater ways. I want to hear His voice all the time. I want to be so close to Him that I can hear His heartbeat and He can hear mine. I want something even closer. I want to have the same heart. It says in the Word to write down the vision. So for this last part of my fast I write down these things that are my goals and prayers.

– I want healing in my emotions. They are all over the place and my feelings are getting hurt way too easily. I pray that I can focus instead of on me onto God so negative emotions have far, far less power. I want to flow in love, forgiveness, grace.

– I pray for miracles and healing for my church family, both individually and corporately. I pray for unity and ask the Lord to begin that in me. Convict we when I breed disunity in any way. I ask for healing in finances, health, relationships.

– I ask for salvations.

– I ask for open doors and new opportunities to love. I pray that God works out what is on my heart regarding ministry opportunities. I just want to love people.

This verse came as such an encouragement to me this morning:

Psalm 27:13 “I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness (same Hebrew word for “glory”) of the LORD In the land of the living.” NKJV

Also I received this good Word today via email:

SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by Marsha Burns — 2/7/11:

Be filled again with My Spirit. The days ahead will be filled with My Glory in the practical and commonplace things of life. Maintain awareness, and see My manifest presence in unexpected ways, says the Lord. Take nothing for granted. My glory is all around you!
Psalms 125:2 As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the LORD surrounds His people from this time forth and forever.

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Surprise Party

and five hours later when the weight of the glory of God lifted….

One thing I have known well, too well…and that is that lie of the devil named rejection.

I started believing the lie of rejection when I was quite young and over the years I have fought it, hated it, used it and partnered with it…but I have never been able to get rid of it. I grew up with an absent dad. My dad was always traveling while in the Navy and then after he was discharged he became lost in his own world of ministry and school. When my dad was around, he often went through periods of such depression that he would close himself off for weeks at a time. I had a dad that tried very hard but wasn’t able to persevere and killed himself a few weeks after Christmas in 1975…at the time I was fourteen.

So for many years even before fourteen I lived with this spirit of rejection and resulting father issues and depression that came. Yesterday, as my birthday approaches (and my birthday is also my dad’s birthday just so you understand) I started feeling myself cave to such feelings of depression that I didn’t know what was going on. It was a feeling I haven’t felt in quite some time and I felt almost guilty for feeling it…like I was chosing this as I had until recently even accused my dad of chosing. I don’t mess around though with depression. I need help but from who? I went to the only one I know for sure I can trust with this. Someone that would understand and care enough about the roots of my rejection to pray even if they couldn’t understand what I was feeling. I went to Jesus.

I believe with all my heart that God sent me to the IHOPU student awakening last night. I had other things planned but I just couldn’t do them…so I got online and decided to check it out.

So five hours later when the weight of the glory of God lifted….

Not even an hour into the service, this girl got up and was getting ready to pray for people that had that spirit of rejection and Allen Hood (gotta love him) grabbed the microphone and said there are pastors kids and they really have this rejection on them and they need to be delivered tonight. They are here and on the webcast. I knew that he as talking about me….It was like the Holy Spirit took control of me and I started crying uncontrollably and continued as this girl, a pastor’s kid who had been delivered the week before, prayed for ME. And as she prayed and continued praying, I felt the release. It was that divine exchange you hear about. One weight exchanged for another….yes, there was this weight and I knew it was the GLORY- the very presence of God… No big bells or whistles. No falling down or shaking or dancing (well until later and then there was singing and dancing and praising like I haven’t done in a longgggg time : ). There was just the weight…glorious weight of God. I couldn’t move, I didn’t want to. And all that time I was feeling the release. This girl prayed for those that need the love of the Father to fill holes that my father couldn’t and didn’t fill. I believe with all my heart that those holes aren’t there this morning. That this weight took out a lot of things and put in some others. I can’t exactly explain it. Would anyone even believe it anyway?

I just feel different….Rejection is something I knew too well but rejection is a LIE of the devil and I declare this morning that I know nothing of these lies. Still under the weight, I felt God tell me to destroy those clippings and although it took effort to release those lies…I tore them up and flushed them and then I started declaring some things…and still, I declare that I know in every fiber of my being the Father’s love this morning….like Job 22:28

“You will also declare a thing, And it will be established for you; So light will shine on your ways. …”

I declare it today – NO REJECTION ON ME THIS MORNING only the LOVE OF MY FATHER. For my birthday God gave me one of the desires of my heart. To be free from this spirit of rejection, to be free from trying to please others to get their approval, to be free from trying to get people to like me, to be free from resulting jealousies and anger, to be free from resulting depression rooted in the guilt of my dad’s choices, to be free from ruminations and wondering if everything I said or did hurt anyone in any way every time I speak or write or whatever, to be free from perfectionism and performing, just to be FREE.

I shared my birthday with my dad and we never really had parties…we just exchanged cards and had a cake. For years after my dad died no one really wanted to celebrate such a day. I always understood because I didn’t ever really want to celebrate it either. So I have always just done things that were very low key. A dinner maybe. I have never really even had or wanted a birthday party…but last night God threw me a PARTY. A surprise party.

Five hours later when the weight of the glory of God lifted there was singing and dancing and God gave me such a gift- one of the desires of my heart – and He gave it two days early. He knew, because He knows me, that I couldn’t wait another minute…..HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!! THANK YOU GOD FOR SUCH A GIFT : )

Hallelujah and ALL THE GLORY TO GOD!!!!

Posted in Journal

picking and choosing

part of what I have been mulling over and blogging about today…

…In Mark 16:17-18 besides tongues, it also speaks of believers casting out demons and healing the sick (yeah I know, it talks about snakes and poison too : ) Says that they WILL cast out demons and they WILL heal the sick. These were the words of Jesus right before He was taken up to heaven. That alone makes me want to really get them into my heart. So it makes me wonder why I (and can only speak for myself here) having such great confidence in the gift of tongues have not started walking with that same measure of faith regarding healing and deliverance? There I go picking and choosing again…