I have a fervent prayer that my heart be burdened with God’s command for me to disciple the nations. In the midst of thinking on that and wrestling with it for a bit, I fell asleep and had the following dream:
I was in my kitchen with two members of my small group. I desperately wanted a really good, strong cup of espresso. Not the kind I normally drink with just the coffee and then I take the lazy way out and just add almond milk to it. I wanted it the right way so I needed to froth some milk. Got out my frother which is extremely easy to use but I just am even too lazy sometimes to do it and then mess with the clean up. I was out of almond milk and didn’t know if that would froth anyway so I got out the regular milk and poured in. No matter what I did it would not come to a complete froth. Just kind of semi-frothed but then I noticed it had turned a brown color. I decided to try to use it anyway and it was spoiled milk. I stood there apologizing to my small group for the messed up espresso.
Now I am no expert on dream interpretation so I am maybe not exactly sure what all this has to do with discipleship but even after this dream that is all I could think of. This is what I kind of feel it is about. Feel free to let me know your thoughts on it.
I feel very convicted and unprepared but I feel that God has said to me that it is time to disciple. I am getting better at sharing the Gospel in my everyday walk but he is saying that is good but He wants more for me. More FOR me… and He wants me to follow His complete Word and stop picking and choosing the parts I want to do because they are the easiest or what makes me comfortable or those things I know for sure I can’t mess up. He says do it the way He has laid out and commanded and let Him take care of the rest. Honestly, mostly when it comes to discipleship I am most afraid of saying the wrong thing or turning people off and then looking foolish to everyone as I sit there having completely flopped. God says to DO the Word and let Him worry about all of that. I wanted to say here that He believes in me much more than I do but then I felt Him correct me – it is not me at all. I can’t do it at all. He knows that…but His Holy Spirit which lives in me can. Praise God! I don’t even have to believe in myself or my ability. I just have to allow Him to work through my life. Very encouraging.
The Great Commission is a command, not just to some pastors or evangelists, but to me too!!!
For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome. 1 John 5:3
He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him. John 14:21
Remember growing pains and how it sometimes hurt but you knew your bones were growing. That is how my spiritual life is right now. Parts of my life have a dull pain to them when I look at where I am and where I want to be…when I look at how well I am loving Christ. But also that dull pain lets me know I am on the right path. I am growing up : )
I am a dreamer
I dream of a new world emerging on our planet
A world where love rules instead of fear
A world where generosity replaces greed
A world where good replaces evil
A world where community replaces isolation
A world where redeemed humanity reflects God’s nature
A world where sickness and disease are overcome
A world where people know God, not just know about Him
A world where people hear God, not just hear about Him
Last night I had this very sobering one-
I was in the hospital because I had just had a baby. It was a boy. I was so happy but I was very unprepared and when it was time to go home I didn’t have a car seat or any baby supplies. Nothing. I didn’t even have anyone to drive me home. So I laid the baby on the seat and drove home myself even though I knew that it was illegal to do so. When I got home I ran inside to grab a few things so that I could go to the store and so I left the baby in the car. When I returned he was gone. I was frantic and went around the neighborhood asking if anyone had seen my baby. I looked all over the house but no baby. I became very distraught and then suddenly the doorbell rang. It was a gentleman holding my baby. No explanation of where he had been but he was unharmed. I grabbed him and began thanking God that He had returned the baby in seemingly perfect condition and that everything was okay despite what I had done. I was so relieved. Then the doorbell rang again. It was the police and I was arrested and taken to jail- charged with neglect.
Yikes! When I woke up I felt that God was speaking to me about what will be a new season and to make sure I am prepared and stay prepared for the responsibilities of what He is birthing. I don’t know if my understanding of it is even correct- that was just my initial feelings.
I dream of Isaiah 61.
I dream of God using me as a vessel of healing and restoration.
Of putting God-given words onto a page in a new way and that through them someone will be instantly, miraculously healed.
Or a bound person will be set free.
I dream of sharing my most precious treasures with the poorest of the poor.
I dream of wielding a word that changes governments to righteousness.
I dream of God touching people in a radical way and causing them to run to Him.
I dream of God’s Word being spoken over the lost and the harvest being brought in.
Of His Words bringing great joy and freedom in the Lord.
I dream of delighting the Lord and seeing His glory through my worship.
I dream of a great army terrible with banners and love.
I dream of putting the enemy to flight.
My dreams are too small.
1 “The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me,
Because the LORD has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD,
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
3 To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;”