I have a fervent prayer that my heart be burdened with God’s command for me to disciple the nations. In the midst of thinking on that and wrestling with it for a bit, I fell asleep and had the following dream:
I was in my kitchen with two members of my small group. I desperately wanted a really good, strong cup of espresso. Not the kind I normally drink with just the coffee and then I take the lazy way out and just add almond milk to it. I wanted it the right way so I needed to froth some milk. Got out my frother which is extremely easy to use but I just am even too lazy sometimes to do it and then mess with the clean up. I was out of almond milk and didn’t know if that would froth anyway so I got out the regular milk and poured in. No matter what I did it would not come to a complete froth. Just kind of semi-frothed but then I noticed it had turned a brown color. I decided to try to use it anyway and it was spoiled milk. I stood there apologizing to my small group for the messed up espresso.
Now I am no expert on dream interpretation so I am maybe not exactly sure what all this has to do with discipleship but even after this dream that is all I could think of. This is what I kind of feel it is about. Feel free to let me know your thoughts on it.
I feel very convicted and unprepared but I feel that God has said to me that it is time to disciple. I am getting better at sharing the Gospel in my everyday walk but he is saying that is good but He wants more for me. More FOR me… and He wants me to follow His complete Word and stop picking and choosing the parts I want to do because they are the easiest or what makes me comfortable or those things I know for sure I can’t mess up. He says do it the way He has laid out and commanded and let Him take care of the rest. Honestly, mostly when it comes to discipleship I am most afraid of saying the wrong thing or turning people off and then looking foolish to everyone as I sit there having completely flopped. God says to DO the Word and let Him worry about all of that. I wanted to say here that He believes in me much more than I do but then I felt Him correct me – it is not me at all. I can’t do it at all. He knows that…but His Holy Spirit which lives in me can. Praise God! I don’t even have to believe in myself or my ability. I just have to allow Him to work through my life. Very encouraging.
The Great Commission is a command, not just to some pastors or evangelists, but to me too!!!
For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome. 1 John 5:3
He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him. John 14:21
Remember growing pains and how it sometimes hurt but you knew your bones were growing. That is how my spiritual life is right now. Parts of my life have a dull pain to them when I look at where I am and where I want to be…when I look at how well I am loving Christ. But also that dull pain lets me know I am on the right path. I am growing up : )