There are times when I am standing in worship and when I close my eyes I see the Cross. What the Lord has done for me remains so fresh that it makes me want to cry. As we sing about the ‘”wonderful cross” or the “Lamb of God'”, I am once again standing there confronted with my sin -broken again before Him. When the worship team shifts to rejoicing and proclaiming our freedom and our victory because of what Jesus did on the Cross, as the beat starts, that my body automatically just wants to move. There isn’t much in me that is still because I hear His voice, whispering to my heart, “come and worship Me with a sacrifice of praise.” I just feel then in my heart the desire to dance or to dance with a banner or to do something like a kind of run around the room (although I prefer to see it as floating…some of you who know me well have seen the float :). Not always of course, but sometimes.
Although I’m naturally terrified of what others might think, what are my options??? – either honoring God or staying safe? Safety is such a snare. Safety has caused me to dismiss His Words. Safety has caused me to dance in the hallways or behind closed doors. Safety has caused me to be ashamed. Safety has caused me to allow others to intimidate me, to silence me.
My desires for my remaining days on this earth are anything but safe so I have to start a change somewhere. I truly do know that as I step out in faith, a wonderful thing happens; fear fades, people disappear at least for a time, and I am able to just dance before my God with all my might and to feel His pleasure. There is deliverance in that same dance. There is power and authority.
Often I am reminded of Zephaniah 3:17 “…[I] will rejoice over you with singing” and I picture God singing over me as I overcome all obstacles and distractions.
It is not about me, or you, or any of the other people who may or may not be watching. It has nothing to do with my ability to dance. It has nothing to do with what song is being sung or played. It is joyous. It is reverent. It is as a prayer, a testimony, a praise, a sorrow, a song, a shout. It is like most things the Lord asks of me. His asking is definitely not dependent on my ability. He asks me to pray although I am not such a good pray-er. He asks me to sing although sometimes my voice cracks, if I can make a sound at all; He asks me to hide His Word in my heart although memorizing is such a task these days; He asks me to preach although honestly I don’t really know how or why He wants that; He asks me to pursue miracles of healing and deliverance although I see so much opposition and unbelief; He asks me to love although sometimes even my own heart seems very calloused from a life of seeing and hearing too much; He asks me to persevere in all He asks although some would call me crazy, legalistic, zealous. He asks me to persevere though change comes so slowly it seems; He asks me to run although many would never pull away from their seat; He asks me to dance although many feel it best to be still. Of these things He asks anyway! I respond. It is about a God who desires that we worship Him from an obedient, broken, and contrite heart.
Pressing on…
If anyone knows Melissa... 