Well it has happened. I fell asleep in the prayer room this morning. Dozed off, nodded off…never imagined I would. Most especially didn’t imagine it since I popped up and was ready to face the day at 5am because I couldn’t sleep. So eager. There is just something about falling asleep during prayer that really humbles you. I am reminded of the disciples and their same struggle. How often I have judged them…and now I have lived it, kind of. What did Jesus say to them…pray lest you fall into temptation? What did He say to me? Pretty much the same thing the first time I woke up and the second. As I left I did so just as I imagine Peter did, determined to prove I hadn’t failed terribly and that I could overcome. Even to standing up and cutting off an ear of the enemy…acting first thinking later out of a passion to prove something. That same determination and proof— a failure as well.
Yes it happened. The temptation, the frustration, the battle, the failure. All I had to do was stay awake and pray, but I couldn’t.