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82 Days – putting struggles aside

I thought once I went to Africa my desire would be satisfied and I would “move on” to others areas of ministry.

God gave me the desire of my heart when He allowed me to go to Tanzania on a mission trip last year. I thought once I went to Africa though, that desire would be satisfied and I would “move on” to others areas of ministry. Instead, it has grown despite even my attempts to change it or deny it.

Some know my struggles in this area. I am especially thankful for the those that know because they have lived through their own. They know the distractions and the fight to stay on a path that makes little sense to the world. They know what it is like to be called by God at a strange time while on some dusty road trying to get somewhere else. They know the tears that won’t stop because they remember their own and recognize the Lord’s touch through those tears. They understand the struggle to explain later what only God could know. They understand the struggle to leave still feeling undone and the struggle once those precious feelings pass with time. They understand what it is like to know that you are not called to mission trips but that you are called to missions. They get the difference but understand that some don’t. And they understand and know very well the crossroads – to act on the call because it is His call, whether it makes sense or whether you feel “undone”… or to resist. Resist knowing you will stand before a holy God having run.

God is a God of specifics and when He gives you specific desires and a specific call with specific doors and then makes His burdens for a specific population, your burdens, what do you do? More specifically, what do I do?

Me – a 56-year-old wife, mom, grandmother, daughter, friend, business owner, prayer warrior, lover and disciple of Jesus and His Word, servant of God, minister of the Gospel. A woman of many titles and responsibilities like most women; but, a woman who has resisted the title of missionary for reasons I don’t really know.

What do I do? I put all the struggles aside, I accept His call, and I GO!
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Heading Back to Tanzania

In 2016, I went with a team led by my former pastor, Sammy Oxendine, on a mission to Moshi, Tanzania, Africa to work alongside missionaries Vince and Vicki Welch. For me, the highlight of that mission was my time with the young women of The Binti Project. “Binti” means “daughter” in Swahili. The Binti Project is a ministry that rescues, restores, and rehabilitates ladies involved in human trafficking.  Once the women (along with their children) enter the Project – they are provided a home and receive physical and emotional care and support, educational and vocational training, and intensive discipleship.

This year, I plan to return to Tanzania in October to work again with the Welches under the leadership of Pastor Sammy. This mission will have one focus – street ministry for The Binti Project. During the day in Moshi, we will conduct prayer walks on the streets of the “red light” district. In the evenings on those same streets, we will share the love of Jesus with the young girls and ladies we meet. We will also invite them to a banquet where they will hear the Gospel message and incredible testimonies of how God is moving and changing lives through the project, and they will have an excellent meal. There will be an explanation of The Binti Project and an invitation to leave the street and become a part of this life changing ministry.

Would you consider giving financially to this mission? Dan and I have paid my travel expenses. Above that, my goal is to raise at least $2000. All funds received will go directly into the mission to cover ministry expenses, to bless The Binti Project home and missionaries, and to provide gifts for the local pastors that invest time and resources into this ministry. Any size donation is helpful and appreciated. If you decide to partner with this year’s mission to Tanzania, you can make a tax-deductible contribution using the enclosed envelope and instructions.

I hope you can tell; The Binti Project is dear to my heart. I count it my great joy to be called of God to go…and I consider it an honor to work alongside these missionaries, my former pastor, and this team. I go as a messenger of Jesus Christ and as a “mama” to sow eternal seed into the lives of His precious daughters, even as my own mom and spiritual mothers have for me.

In closing, may I also ask for your prayers? For the preparation, the team, the journey, the ladies, and the success of this mission! To me, it is the most important thing you can give because God has shown me over and over it is the prayers of many that help carries me where He guides.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this and for your prayerful consideration.

May your joy and peace be full,

Melissa

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Happy Father’s Day

I read an article once that said Hallmark gave free cards inmates on Mother’s and Father’s Day. They always ran out of cards on Mother’s Day, but the prisoners only used a small percentage of cards for Father’s Day. This says much about our generation. People often struggle in their relationship with God if they’ve had an absentee dad or one who was less than ideal. And because of this, they also struggle with Father’s Day. But regardless of upbringing, Jesus made a statement to Mary that should encourage us all.

Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God. ~ John 20:17

From that day forward, no child has ever been an orphan! Jesus bridged the gap and gave each of us an open relationship wth Our Father. And in a great show of His love, He has put people in our lives to reflect Him and His love.  For some, it was your biological dad. But maybe it was someone else like a stepdad, granddad or teacher. Perhaps God showed Himself to you through a Pastor or simply a faithful, obedient man. For me, it was all of the above.

An unknown author said:  A dad is someone who wants to catch you before you fall, but instead, picks you up, brushes you off, and lets you try again. A dad is someone who wants to keep you from making mistakes but instead lets you find your own way, even though his heart breaks in silence when you get hurt. A dad is someone who holds you when you cry, scolds you when you break the rules, shines with pride when you succeed, and has faith in you even when you fail.

Yes, I’ve had all of these – but not through just one man. As I look back at my life, I can see my Heavenly Father was there all along, using many to help mold me. I feel incredibly privileged to have love and respect for more than one father-figure. So on Father’s Day, I am grateful to my Heavenly Father – and each man that He has used. I hope you are too.

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Notes from Evening Bible Study

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? ~ Jeremiah 17:9

I think if God had shown me all the things wrong with my wicked heart from the beginning, I would have run away feeling hopeless. He didn’t. He reveals to me step by step. This is a part of my studies and devotion today. OUCH!!! The Lord corrects in such a beautiful way…even though the process is sometimes messy He gives a desire above all other desires to change from glory to glory and look today more like Him than I did yesterday. Help me, Lord I pray…in Jesus Name. Amen!!! Amen!!!

Offense: Demolishing Strongholds

(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) 5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; ~ 2 Cor 10:4-5

None of us like to be hurt. Typically, we will avoid pain whenever possible. So when someone offends us, we erect walls in our relationship to protect ourselves. God identifies these walls as “strongholds” – set patterns of reasoning (thinking) through which we process or filter information.

The word “stronghold” in 2 Corinthians 10:4 is the Greek word ochuroma. It was a term used to describe a castle or fortress that had very thick, impenetrable walls built to keep intruders out. Interestingly, the same word for stronghold here was also used to describe a prison – a place of punishment or torment. Do you see what strongholds do to your life? I sure did.

David Wilkerson wrote:

“A stronghold is an accusation planted firmly in your mind. Satan establishes strongholds in God’s people by implanting in their minds lies, falsehoods and misconceptions…The devil may try to convince you that you have a right to hold onto bitterness because you’ve been wronged. He’ll try to destroy your marriage by persuading you, ‘You can’t endure this relationship any longer unless your spouse changes.’ If you keep listening to his lies, you’ll begin to believe them after a while.”

Think about it. It may not be marriage at all. It may be a work relationship, a church relationship, a friendship, parent relationship, neighbor relationship. We think we can’t endure unless they change – Change me, Lord! That is my earnest desire and fervent prayer, Change me!!!!

What is the cure for destructive strongholds? Seek GOD!

Seek him that maketh the seven stars and Orion, and turneth the shadow of death into the morning, and maketh the day dark with night: that calleth for the waters of the sea, and poureth them out upon the face of the earth: The Lord is his name: 9 That strengtheneth the spoiled against the strong, so that the spoiled shall come against the fortress. ~ Amos 5:8-9

As I recognize the enemy’s lies and repent to God for believing them (John 1:9 – If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness), He will forgive me and tear down the stronghold of offense in my soul. So then, I dig into His Word and begin to replace the enemy’s lies with truth.

How powerful is God’s Word!?!

Hebrews 4:12 – For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

James 1:21 – Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.

Jeremiah 23:28-29 – The prophet that hath a dream, let him tell a dream; and he that hath my word, let him speak my word faithfully. What is the chaff to the wheat? saith the Lord. 29 Is not my word like as a fire? saith the Lord; and like a hammer that breaketh the rock in pieces?
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3 am Wake Up Call

It’s 4:30 am and I have been up since 3 am. Have to be up at 5 am anyway. I am up fighting a battle in the spirit. I am warring against things that I knew were real but never encountered much before. Never been sadder or angrier or more tired or felt so intensely. Voices say give up, run away, hide….but what good would any of that do? So I stand and fight. If you see me cry or hear me or feel my distance it is not because I want you to join me here. No need unless the Lord bids you come. Sometimes these just flow out.

There is a type of evil that looks like an enormous snake, feels like a crushing weight, and enters your life in a very unassuming way. We hear it spoken of by some but don’t take it serious enough until it is in front of us or on us. When it gets a place in you it betrays and starts squeezing the LIFE out of you. It feels like discouragement to me in the natural today but it is an enemy trying to get me to let go and this enemy is slowly going through all the tactics. Discouragement, offense, pride, envy….the list goes on and on. And believe me I have wanted to run away but as the enemy shows me death, the Holy Ghost shows Truth. I KNOW the costs and what is at stake. So I fight for the death of this enemy in my life and others.

I can see that this enemy is going through the body of Christ and taking people down one by one. It is not the people but the enemy. Never the person …but there are people he is using. Not because they want him to use them but because he is squeezing them too. Giving in is gradual so some don’t even know it themselves.

Believe me, I have been fighting the devil tonight. I come with the Word Himself and with authority and with the Name of Jesus and the Blood as I have been taught. I have no choice, not really. The time for choice for me is passed as it regards this battle. Victory already came but will only manifest on earth as it is in heaven if I take my position and don’t abandon it. Otherwise, I keep going around in a horrible vicious circle.

If this isn’t for you move on for now….but if you are or ever find yourself where I do tonight you need to know this is real, it is serious but there are others fighting alongside you. It feels lonely in the natural but there are others and there is Jesus!

Last night I asked a minister for prayer and he prayed. He said several things but at t, e end he said three to four times…Remember the fast! Remember the fast! Remember the fast!

“Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting” ~ Matthew 17:21

That might just be one of the most important verses in the Bible today. God bless you each and every one! 3 am wake up calls….

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Why Pray?

“… for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him..” ~ Matthew 6:8b 

God doesn’t need our suggestions. But we are eager to make them to Him! I’m guilty of making my prayer life all about figuring out my situations and then asking God to bless my plans. “Lord, bless this. Just bless all that I’ve arranged. And give me all I’ve suggested.” But can I admit to you what I have had to admit to God a lot over the years? My plans are never, ever the best plans.

Like today’s verse states, God already knows what we need before we ask Him. Not what we think we need. He knows what we really need according to His perfect plans.

So, why pray then?

Because prayer is God’s appointed way to have our needs met.

Because we don’t truly know what we need. We pray because He sees everything while we see only a little of the bigger picture. We pray because we have limited perspectives, limited thoughts, limited views. We pray because we need so much more than quick fixes and help for our troubles.  

Because we need Him.

Because we need what He gives us through prayer.

Here are some things God can give us through prayer:

• He will give revelations and a powerful sense of peace we can not get any other way. If we will hush the voices and stop hurry of our lives, and humble our hearts in prayer before the Lord,

• He can not only hush the worries, but ONLY HE can empty the world’s worries from our minds and hearts.

Nothing on earth has any authority over God. His will is accomplished even when it doesn’t look that way from our point of view. And best of all He is operating from victory not working for victory.

“After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. 10 Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. ” Matthew 6:9-10

“Thy will be done.” His will is going to be done so with Him; there is no need for us to worry. Because of Him, we have every reason to worship!

• He will fill us with His perfect provision for this day.

“Give us this day our daily bread” ~ Matthew 6:11

God knows what we need and will give us today’s portion of meeting that need. It may not look like what we want, but it will be what He knows we need and in the exact portion we can handle.

• He will purify us so that what we spill over onto others through our words and actions is life giving.

A heart tainted by sin, tempted to be too prideful to forgive, or tortured by temptation will not thrive or be the blessing to others we’re called to be. So, Jesus teaches us how to stay free of the deceiver’s grip.

“and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil” ~ Matthew 6:12-13

As I read this I realize He doesn’t need our lists of desires; he wants our willing humility. 

I also realize that there are no singular pronouns in this prayer. They are all plural. It begins with “Our Father.” When we pray, we must remember that we are part of God’s worldwide family of believers. We have no right to ask for ourselves anything that would harm another member of the family. If we are praying in the will of God, the answer will be a blessing to all of God’s people in one way or another. We may not understand it now, but one day we will.

So in humility, we lift up His name, we receive His provision, we listen for His direction, we accept His correction, we walk in protection in Him that prayer can give and we can declare to ALL the world.

“For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.” ~ Matt 6:13b

God bless you today!

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Change Me, Lord!

The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy and I am tired of it. I have a situation where the enemy has been using someone for years to try to drive a wedge in a relationship. It is a constant battle. I recognized the spirit and have taken authority as instructed by Jesus and the Word of God!
But here is reality – I can pray, and I can take authority and rightly so but – God gives all people free will. So what can I do then? Oh, I won’t stop praying…no way will I stop…but now my prayers include the request for the good Lord to CHANGE ME!!!! Change me, Lord…In Jesus Name! Amen!
And saying that prayer is my free will. So move over, satan and get out of my life!!!
The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. ~ John 10:10
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Lead Me In the Way Everlasting (Pt. 2)

Psalm 139:24 – And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Offense will stop the flow of the miraculous in your life. We are offended about so many things and often offended at God. This is a story from the Bible about that.

Matthew 20:1-16 –
For the kingdom of heaven is like unto a man that is an householder, which went out early in the morning to hire labourers into his vineyard. 2 And when he had agreed with the labourers for a penny a day, he sent them into his vineyard.
3 And he went out about the third hour, and saw others standing idle in the marketplace,
4 And said unto them; Go ye also into the vineyard, and whatsoever is right I will give you. And they went their way.
5 Again he went out about the sixth and ninth hour, and did likewise.
6 And about the eleventh hour he went out, and found others standing idle, and saith unto them, Why stand ye here all the day idle?
7 They say unto him, Because no man hath hired us. He saith unto them, Go ye also into the vineyard; and whatsoever is right, that shall ye receive.
8 So when even was come, the lord of the vineyard saith unto his steward, Call the labourers, and give them their hire, beginning from the last unto the first.
9 And when they came that were hired about the eleventh hour, they received every man a penny.
10 But when the first came, they supposed that they should have received more; and they likewise received every man a penny.
11 And when they had received it, they murmured against the goodman of the house, 12 Saying, These last have wrought but one hour, and thou hast made them equal unto us, which have borne the burden and heat of the day.
13 But he answered one of them, and said, Friend, I do thee no wrong: didst not thou agree with me for a penny?
14 Take that thine is, and go thy way: I will give unto this last, even as unto thee.
15 Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own? Is thine eye evil, because I am good?
16 So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen.

Ouch! Any offense is ugly but directed at God?! I think He would say to me(us), Just keep your hand to the plow! Hear and obey! Recognize your season and live it out! Stop being so concerned with what I instruct someone else to do. Kill criticism and jealousy in you. Keep praise in your heart and mouth! Stay in your assignment! I am a just God!”

 Help me oh Lord to continue to root out the offense and all the nasty spirits that attach themselves to it – bitterness, jealousy, competition, rejection, etc… Help me to cast them away once and for all. Help me to love Your Word so that I have great peace and live without offense. In Jesus Name! Amen!!!

Psalm 119:165 – Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.
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A Sock in the Gut

There is a difference between going because you want to go and going because you are needed there. ~ A friend

Well, I have faced just about every emotion I can face over this last week from extreme joy to excruciating loneliness to overwhelming sadness to being just plain mad.

This time last year I was offered the opportunity to go to Tanzania, and I felt led of the Lord to go. What an excellent time. Not just the going but in the preparation. I was stretched so far outside my box in ministry, emotionally and relationally…. but having such a task helped me to stay so focused on the Lord and my task that my eyes were nowhere else.

This year I have been offered the same opportunity, and I thought my commitment would be for the most part a financial decision. Then as it turns out financially, I could likely make it work out even without donations. BUT….for some reason I felt no PEACE. UGH! I wish I did. I have sought the Lord and sought the Lord because commitment has to be made whether it be to accept or decline.

I have not exactly heard an audible voice, but yesterday at the radio this thought came to mind. Maybe I already know deep down in my spirit but since it is not what I want to hear I keep going back for other answers. Like the lawyer I talked about on the broadcast who asked Jesus a question and then went further to justify himself. Jesus turned His teaching on the lawyer, and I thought He was doing the same to me there. Was that His voice? Still, I kept seeking the Lord.

Then I was talking with a friend and co-worker, and out of the blue he brought up TZ and asked if I was going back. I told him of the questions I had and that I didn’t want to be out of the will of God. He stopped and thought for a minute and then said this, There is a difference between going because you want to go and going because you are needed there. Whoa! That hit me in the gut. Hard to think that you are not needed, everybody wants to be. I think at least for this time and this trip, I am not. So the emotions have flowed – sad and mad, and for some strange reason more loneliness. God tried to use the still small voice, but it took a sock in the gut for me.

Probably I should count it all joy even if I don’t feel joyful. Sometimes I wonder why God gave me such a huge desire to go places and do specific types of things when there seem so few doors that He will allow or doors with a need for me. What is the point? Oh, I know there is one and He will show me in time. Help me Lord in the waiting!

I still haven’t written the decline, but I know now I will.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. ~ Proverbs 3:5-6

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Lead Me In The Way Everlasting

Psalm 139:24 – And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

“What feels like an offense is, in reality, a door to our destiny. Consider Joseph, he suffered attempted murder, betrayal and slavery; he was unjustly accused and unfairly imprisoned. Yet Joseph took the injustice he experienced from men and transferred those offenses to the Lord, His almighty Redeemer. You see, how we handle offense reveals where we are yet controlled by our flesh. If you want to reach your destiny, you must become Christlike in your crisis. In a word, you must become unoffendable.” –In Christ’s Image Training

Pastor Francis Frangipane posted this today on his ministry Facebook page. It is a quote from one of his teachings in his training school. It impacted my life the first time I heard it and since. Every time he posts this, I repost and I will likely continue to do so. I do it because it is a reminder to me of my training, that my training continues and my need to keep pressing into the Lord to become Christlike and to become unoffendable.

Offense is one of my hardest present struggles. In and of myself I can’t let things go but I have learned that I must quickly give things to the Lord. We live in a society that “honors” offense and tries to create victims from those offenses at every turn. But holding on to an offense is like being underwater too long and unable to breathe. It creates that kind of desperation and draws you that close to death. Letting it go is like finally rising to the top and getting that desperate breath that calms. Oh yes, it is that freeing!!!

Even with knowing that, it is still not natural or always easy and almost never my first reaction. Oh, Lord! I pray for the day that it is. My flesh wants to hang on to so much. But, as many things are, I have learned that letting go of offense is a choice. It is a decision that you have to make and then lay it on the altar, walk away and let Jesus handle it. And then sometimes I have to make the choice not to go back and pick it up again. Offense is a huge stumbling block and distraction and the enemy loves it when we are so wrapped up in an offense that we are doing nothing fruitful for the Kingdom of God. I am still learning.

My prayer – HELP me, Father, today not to hold onto any offense. Show me where it is hiding in my heart and help me make the choice to cast it away once and for all so I can walk in unity and love and focus and bearing lasting fruit on the way everlasting…in Jesus Name! Amen!!!

Proverbs 19:11 – The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.

Proverbs 17:9 – He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.

2 Corinthians 6:3 – Giving no offence in any thing, that the ministry be not blamed:

2 Corinthians 10:5 – Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

Romans 14:13 – Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way.

Psalm 139:24 – And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.