On this day 4 yrs ago I had an encounter with God during a weekend with Sister Gwen Shaw. I was at the end of a very long prayer line. I had stood in line for over an hour and as it approached time for her to pray for me, she looked like she could not go on any longer. It was 2am and she was in her late 80s. I heard the voice of the Lord tell me to get out of line….so I stepped away at that prompting. I didn’t want to and I was VERY disappointed. I was in all honesty very angry for having to do that especially as I watched her continue on with praying and imparting things to each person in line. Such a sweet, beautiful woman of God. She didn’t stop because of me stepping away and it didn’t make sense to me.
The next morning I came upon the table she had sat behind while preaching and praying and I just felt prompted to lay my hand on the table and pray for Sister Gwen. When I did, the Holy Spirit fell on me so heavily that I felt connected to an electrical outlet. It lasted so long that when I “came to myself” the morning service had started around me. Sister Gwen, who was supposed to speak at both the 9:30 and 11am services but was unable to come. She was physically unable but was able to come to the 11am service. I was again very disappointed in this because I couldn’t stay for the 11am service. I had to get to my mom’s house for mothers day lunch.
I went to leave and as I did this young man came up to me and said, “have you ever been to the wailing wall?” I said, “No!” He said, “I felt like I just saw you there and God wants you to know that He is taking you to a wailing wall.” This encounter made little sense to me then and in many ways still doesn’t all fit together but I returned to Heritage again this weekend for a time of prayer. God reminded me of that weekend.
Nothing momentous happened this weekend. I didn’t necessarily feel different when it was time to leave. I had hoped so much for another special encounter, anything that could give me answers to some questions I am feel i need to resolve in these next days. I came away wanting to feel disappointed but yet I know that God works through all things so I feel some confidence because I know that I did hear a theme common with my own Pastor’s Word given the Wednesday before. It was “commissioning” I asked the Lord for more on that but no real answer that i understand yet- but it is early. I just saw the theme and then God reminded me of that time there with Sister Gwen and also the wailing wall. We’ll see what comes of it.
As I entered into the 38th day of my personal fast and the first day of our corporate fast I did so with a prayer that God reveal Himself to me in greater ways. I want to hear His voice all the time. I want to be so close to Him that I can hear His heartbeat and He can hear mine. I want something even closer. I want to have the same heart. It says in the Word to write down the vision. So for this last part of my fast I write down these things that are my goals and prayers.
– I want healing in my emotions. They are all over the place and my feelings are getting hurt way too easily. I pray that I can focus instead of on me onto God so negative emotions have far, far less power. I want to flow in love, forgiveness, grace.
– I pray for miracles and healing for my church family, both individually and corporately. I pray for unity and ask the Lord to begin that in me. Convict we when I breed disunity in any way. I ask for healing in finances, health, relationships.
– I ask for salvations.
– I ask for open doors and new opportunities to love. I pray that God works out what is on my heart regarding ministry opportunities. I just want to love people.
This verse came as such an encouragement to me this morning:
Psalm 27:13 “I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness (same Hebrew word for “glory”) of the LORD In the land of the living.” NKJV
Also I received this good Word today via email:
SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by Marsha Burns — 2/7/11:
Be filled again with My Spirit. The days ahead will be filled with My Glory in the practical and commonplace things of life. Maintain awareness, and see My manifest presence in unexpected ways, says the Lord. Take nothing for granted. My glory is all around you!
Psalms 125:2 As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the LORD surrounds His people from this time forth and forever.
Whoa! Some days I think I can’t go on another minute. I am tired and weary and then God shows up and changes everything with His Word. I understand to my core this morning that the Word is the Bread and it feeds me. And I am getting that the Word is the Daily Bread is His Body and it has fed me. With the Word I am overflowing. You know sometimes I am guilty of running around looking for a touch from someone, a prophesy, a word from someone I think has a better connection to God…but I learned this last night and it was reinforced when I meditated on the scripture this morning-the Word of the Lord is all I need. It is my prophesy!! It will not come back void. It is freely given. This is the Word of the Lord:
17 and he sent a man before them—
Joseph, sold as a slave.
18 They bruised his feet with shackles,
his neck was put in irons,
19 till what he foretold came to pass,
till the word of the LORD proved him true.
20 The king sent and released him,
the ruler of peoples set him free.
21 He made him master of his household,
ruler over all he possessed,
22 to instruct his princes as he pleased
and teach his elders wisdom.
2 The LORD was with Joseph and he prospered, and he lived in the house of his Egyptian master. 3 When his master saw that the LORD was with him and that the LORD gave him success in everything he did, 4 Joseph found favor in his eyes and became his attendant. Potiphar put him in charge of his household, and he entrusted to his care everything he owned. 5 From the time he put him in charge of his household and of all that he owned, the LORD blessed the household of the Egyptian because of Joseph. The blessing of the LORD was on everything Potiphar had, both in the house and in the field.
What I received from God through Pastor Cathy Feemster last night and through His Word this morning: When God gives a vision and a dream and then you speak it, just like Joseph, YOU WILL BE TESTED!! If it is a God dream then it is much bigger than your dreams could be. It will excite a part of you even if you don’t understand it all or how it will come to pass. THEN you will speak it and everytime you speak it, you will be tested. When it is a God dream things will come against it. Someone will oppose you, if not hate you. Others will feel threatened and instead of living in their own anointing and fulfilling their own dream, they will seek to destroy yours. They will try to steal it. Don’t fall for the lies and tricks of the enemy that would destroy you and quash God’s dream being fulfilled in and through you. In the midst of testing remember the dream you were given that you spoke so boldly of and have faith in the vision and in the midst of it all God will give you favor. He will work in mysterious ways. If it is a God dream then it is God’s vision and IT WILL COME TO PASS. It will come to pass and you will find that your speaking it and the favor but also even that time of testing was part of the dream being fulfilled. So stand firm even if you seem to stand alone and stand anointed.
Now that was what I call a really big breakfast and I am going to have to chew on this awhile and maybe once I do, I’ll even have come back and change some of these thoughts, don’t know… but this I guarantee- I am not skipping lunch!
Interesting things have been happening in prayer these days. God has spoken about revelation driven prayer and hearing His voice through the things that He brings to my mind during prayer time. I have been given confidence that some things I have for so long excused as just my imaginations are one of the ways He uses to speak to me. This was made very clear for me during our prayer meeting yesterday.
We came into prayer last night feeling very discouraged. Everyone. We were tired and everything seemed the same old, same old. Even our conversation was frankly boring. Someone asked God to help the people get into his Word (fairly common prayer, I guess) but just like that I heard God say, “You first.” It was so clear that it couldn’t be ignored so I immediately relayed what I heard. We opened our Bibles and began to pray the scriptures. During this time we asked God to show us what was on His heart. To have us pray His heart, His prayers. We have said this prayer many times before too but yesterday things just were different.
Immediately I saw the hill behind the church and from the very top of the very tallest tree on down all I could see was the blood of Jesus running down it like rivers. Maybe more rushing down it and the blood was covering absolutely everything in its path. Every corner, every crevice…everything. I began praying this scene and declaring this scene but admittedly I started feeling awkward because it was a different kind of prayer for me and I became aware of those around me and so I stopped, it ceased – the prayer and the flow of what I had been seeing. I knew that I had stopped what God was trying to do.
But toward the middle of our time I was asking God for salvations and He gave another “scene.” Don’t you just love second chances? I knew immediately that it was connected to the the Full Flame Evangelism course (Reinhard Bonnke). In that course we watched a short movie about a group of people on a ship that ran across some that were overboard. The message was that people are drowning and we have the ability to rescue them but we each must decide if we will risk our own lives to do so or not by jumping in. What God gave me was just a bit different though…
There was a ship with many, many people beside it in the water. People were floating around and drowning but it was as though they were very comfortable and didn’t know that they were drowning. There were a few that were fighting for their lives but they were for the most part ignored by those floating. Those floating had no idea they were getting ready to die. Some people were still on the ship and they each had a stock of life preservers. When they could get someone’s attention, they were throwing them out into the water and then dragging them into the boat to safety. Those aboard the ship faced two obstacles. They had to find a way to get the people to pay enough attention so they could warn them of their impending death and they had to avoid the lure of jumping into the water themselves. See no one fell off the ship. There were no problems with the ship. The problem was that the people were lured to jump. Some had jumped with good intentions of helping but for most something of the water had enticed them and I heard God say to me, “Don’t abandon ship. Someone has to throw the life preservers.”
Just like that discouragement was gone and I settled into what I had been asked to do in prayer and intercession…and definitely not feeling the same old, same old.